The shock rippling through my body
The anger that’s bubbling up inside at the unfairness of it all
Watching as people go about their day as if mine didn’t just stop
I want to hit something or someone so that something else can feel what I feel
I want to throw everything to the ground, I want to give up
But what good would that do, it’s not going to change the outcome
Nothing is going to fix the last five minutes
The last five minutes which will alter my life eternally from this moment on
So I have to keep going I have to survive with the crushing weight bearing down on me
I need air to survive so I take deep controlled breaths to calm the storms threatening to spill over in my mind
I need to create a box to surround the words that are threatening to kill me like a knife stabbing me straight in the heart
So I place in a compartment in the back of my mind, locking away the bitter news until it cannot reach me anymore
Deep breathe, lock it up, deep breath, lock it up
Pretend it’s not real and maybe just maybe it will all go away
Even though I know these are twisted lies that will eventually crawl their way back forward I think for now it is easier to just pretend
The Mews 
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